A Man Recounts Searching for Buried Treasure and Catching a Badger

00:00 Speaker 1: We were drinking here with one guy... 00:01 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:02 Speaker 1: Well, at a cafe, damn it. 00:04 Speaker 1: We drank and drank, and long story short, he sold me a map, damn it, for a small bottle of vodka. 00:07 Speaker 2: A map? What kind? 00:09 Speaker 1: Where that Catherine... she was transporting her gold... 00:12 Speaker 2: Ah, right, right, right. 00:13 Speaker 1: A suitcase fell from her carriage. 00:14 Speaker 2: For real? 00:15 Speaker 1: And damn it, either his great-grandfather or someone drew a spot on the map where he buried it. 00:21 Speaker 1: I get there, I find this spot, damn it, you see? 00:24 Speaker 2: With a metal detector? 00:24 Speaker 1: It beeps, damn it. 00:26 Speaker 1: It's beeping like crazy. I start digging, damn it: one bottle cap from French wine. 00:30 Speaker 1: A second one. I think, "I'm in the right place, damn it." 00:33 Speaker 1: I'm digging, and bam, I fall right through, damn it. A burrow, damn it. 00:36 Speaker 1: I look, damn it—a badger, damn it! I grab him, he goes into the burrow. 00:40 Speaker 1: I reach in there, I sense, damn it, I caught him by the tail, damn it. But I can't pull him out; he's fat, damn it! 00:44 Speaker 2: Right out of the burrow? 00:45 Speaker 1: Out of the burrow! I think, "He's wedged in, damn it." And I don't have anything on me, no gloves. 00:48 Speaker 1: I shove my hand right in, damn it! But it won't go in, the hole is small. 00:52 Speaker 1: I pull like this, he's screaming, damn it! I shove it in and make a hook, damn it. 00:56 Speaker 2: No way. 00:57 Speaker 1: I swear to God! I haul him, he squeals, damn it! 01:00 Speaker 1: Well, in the end, damn it, we butchered him right there. 01:03 Speaker 1: I brought the fat to Russia. 01:04 Speaker 2: What about the coins? 01:06 Speaker 1: I forgot all about the coins, bro, damn it! To hell with those coins, this fat is worth a fortune! 01:11 Speaker 2: Ah. 01:12 Speaker 1: I'm telling you! And we're sitting here, I had him seated, the dog next to me, had some wine... 01:17 Speaker 1: Sitting, damn it, eating, thinking, and I'm happy, I don't need those coins anymore. 01:21 Speaker 1: I'm eating, damn it, eating, and bam, I think, damn it, under my fingernail! Poop got shoved under my fingernail! 01:26 Speaker 2: Ah, damn it. 01:26 Speaker 1: Disgusting! I went again with a washcloth, scrubbed it, damn it. 01:29 Speaker 1: And it's so pungent, damn it, had to use sandpaper on it. 01:31 Speaker 2: Should have used carbide.